Really Really Funny Little Johnny Jokes

Most jokes look funny because they are making fun of someone. Little Johnny is a fictional cartoon character of a little boy known for very straightforward thinking jokes. On one side, he looks innocent, but on the other side, sometimes he shows us his knowledge in the terminology of sex. His most jokes include a female counterpart. The character has introduced us to thousands of different Clean and Dirty Jokes on Teachers, Sister, Mother, Father, etc.

Today from Little Johnny's Jokes & Puns Dictionary, here we have 99 Best Hilarious Little Johnny Dirty Jokes to make you extreme laugh until Tears start felting from your Eyes. Here we have mentioned Best Little Johnny Dirty and Clean Jokes on Sister, Teachers, Mom, Dad, and Little Johnny Dirty Jokes, who got viral on Tiktok.

Little Johnny Dirty Jokes

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.

She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

The entire class says, "Hello Mrs Prussy."

A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.

Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, "I remember it has an "r" after the first letter."

"That's right!" she coaxed.

Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, "Mrs Crunt?

My teacher said, "If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier."

I said, "I don't know about that Miss.

Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder."

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

"Tell me, Johnny" said his teacher, "if your father borrowed $100 and promises to pay $10 a week, how much will he owe in 7 weeks?"

"One hundred dollars," said Johnny.

"I'm afraid you don't know your math very well," said the teacher.

"I may not know my math," said Johnny, "but I know my father."

Also Check: 60+ Best Extremely Funny Thanksgiving 2021 Jokes to make you hilarious laugh

Little Johnny Jokes Sister

Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's!"

Did you just copy hers?, she asks.

Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog!"

One day Jimmy got home early from school.

His elder sister asked, "Why are you home so early?"

He answered, "Because I was the only one that answered a question in my class."

She said, "Wow, my brother is a genius.

What was the question?"

Jimmy replied, "The question was 'Who threw the trash can at the principal's head?'"

Clean Little Johnny Jokes

"Johnny, where's your homework?"

Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response.

"Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I covered it with peanut butter and he woofed it down."

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market.  The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel.  To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel – they said, because it was bigger.

One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you.  They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel.  Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?"

Slowly, Johny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're stupid, neither is the car…"

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different… again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican." The teacher asked him why he was a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican." Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."

Little Johnny Dirty Jokes Mom and Dad

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.

Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"

Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."

Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"

Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."

Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"

Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."

Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?"

Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook."

Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?"

Dad: "No son, why do you ask?"

Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy?"

Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card?"

Johnny replies "sorry dad, I don't have it". His father is furious and says "why not?"

Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents."

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!"

The policeman said, "What's he like?"

Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!"

Johnny: mom, I'm bored I want to do something.

Mom: See those construction workers building that house across the street? Why don't you go over there and see what they are doing, maybe you'll learn something.

So Johnny does what his mom told him and spends all day across the street. He comes home in time for dinner.

Mom: So Johnny, what did you learn today?

Johnny: Well, first the mason comes and pours the fucking slab, then the carpenter puts up the cocksucking frame, finally the interior guy shows up and finishes the goddamn drywall.

Mom: JOHNNY! I'm going to whup your little butt. Go out back and fetch me a switch.

Johnny: Fuck you, that's the electrician's job.

Also Check: 99 Best Extreme Funny Deez Nuts Jokes to make you laugh until Tears felt from your Eyes

Little Johnny Dirty Jokes Tiktok

Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"?"

Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"

Teacher: "No Johnny, that in incorrect."

Johnny: "Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it."

Johnny was in class when his teacher asks:

Johnny, there are five birds on a tree. You shoot one, how many are left.

None, miss. The others will fly away!

The right answer is four, but i like the way you think.

Johnny goes quiet, and then raises his hand.

During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide.

Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me."

He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, ""Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

While teaching a class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

Johnny said: "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

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